


What's Wrong, Nagisa?

by TollboothPhantom



Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Why do I do this to myself, happy ending i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1436026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TollboothPhantom/pseuds/TollboothPhantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is bothering Nagisa, and the deeper Rei burrows the more fearful he becomes. It's getting over his own insecurities that present the major problem, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is a fic I put up on fanfiction and I got a ton of messages asking me to put it up on this site so that they could bookmark it... so sorry if it seems too familiar! Thanks for reading! Have a great day! (hahha the title is super dorky ik please don't judge)

Rei leaned forward, holding the ceiling strap loosely and looking up as the bus pulled to a stop. His thin, nimble fingers reached up to secure his glasses nervously. Although he would never admit it, this was his favorite part of the day. He felt a rush shoot through his veins of adrenaline, anxiety, excitement, or maybe something else that he couldn't quite admit to himself yet. He felt it, whatever the cause, every time the bus arrived at this stop. Because this wasn't just any bus stop.

Rei stood up straighter, recognizing his nervous posture as anything but beautiful. _Just look at yourself,_ he scolded inwardly. _No one would want to be around the mess you are right now. How would Nagisa feel, parading around with such a flawed creature?_ Smoothing down a stray hair, he pretended to read his book, all the while keeping his eyes trained on the short blond head bobbing through the masses of commuters.

Nagisa easily wove through the crowd, slipping between people unnoticed due to his small, delicate frame. Rei continued to stare at Nagisa's youthful face, gaze lingering too long to go unnoticed. Nagisa caught his eye, beaming in recognition. Rei panicked, blushing furiously as his eyes darted back to the book in his hand and glared blankly at the pages. Hearing the pitter patter of small feet, he felt two slim arms wrap themselves tightly around his toned waist.

"Rei-chan!" Nagisa's bright voice cut through the warm air. Rei raised an arm to hesitantly return the hug.

"G-Good morning... N-Nagisa-kun." Rei managed to sputter out, hiding his now deep scarlet cheeks behind the thick book he held. Nagisa released his tight grip, and Rei relaxed slightly, attempting to comprehend the endless stream of words that now flowed out of Nagisa's mouth. The bus ride continued as usual, the petite blond chattering away, occasionally losing balance as the vehicle took sharp curves and falling into his taller friends' strong, secure arms. It had become a pattern for the pair, a way of life: Nagisa, the carefree, social boy who helped Rei through his countless insecurities, and Rei, who took it upon himself to protect and watch out for his best friend at all costs. Although Rei could never understand why Nagisa would hang out with someone such as himself, his own reasons were apparent. What he felt for Nagisa was much more than friendship.

"Rei-chan. REI-CHAN." Rei snapped out of his reverie to find the bus nearly empty. "We're here, Rei-chan!" Nagisa chimed, falling into step with the dazed blue-haired boy as they stepped off of the bus and onto the pavement. Rei lifted a hand to his glasses impulsively. "What were you thinking about?"

"Huh?" Rei looked down as they walked towards the school. "Oh, back on the bus? J-Just... you know... the science homework." He fumbled with the sentence, cursing himself. What was wrong with him today? Something about Nagisa was bothering him, distracting him, but he couldn't tell what.

"Oh. You did that?" Nagisa giggled lightly, "I didn't quite get to that... will you help me with it at lunch? Pretty please?" Rei groaned, willing himself to ignore Nagisa's surely tempting expression. His willpower failed him. Catching sight of Nagisa's pleading puppy dog eyes, he let out a low, relenting sigh. "Yay! You are the best, Rei-chan!" Nagisa exploded in a cloud of excitement, making Rei smile despite his wish for a cool, distant demeanor. The school entrance loomed in front of them, and Nagisa immediately lunged at it, struggling to pull the heavy doors open. Rei reached over him, easily slipping open the thick door. His reward was a look of pure amazement from his companion, which broke into an endearing grin. And who was he kidding? He couldn't help but smile back.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The lunch bell was a welcome sound to class 1-6 of Iwatobi high school. Even Rei had trouble staying awake as the teacher droned on endlessly in his humorless, monotone voice. He leaped out of his seat, though, energized at the thought of reprimanding Nagisa for sleeping in class. It was not like Nagisa, really, to not be awake and hyperactive every minute of the day. Usually he could be found sitting in front of Rei, doodling endlessly and turning around every once in a while to shoot a sly glance and offer his commentary on just how distasteful the teacher's fashion choices were. Rei always forced Nagisa to sit in front of him, because with Rei's height there was no way Nagisa would be able to see the front of the classroom sitting behind him. It wasn't like Nagisa ever payed attention anyway though.

But today was different from the rest. Nagisa was out cold. Before the teacher could notice his snoozing companion, Rei stood in front of his desk, gripping his arm tightly and shaking it slightly. Nagisa awoke immediately, wincing at the contact of Rei's hand against his arm. Rei, startled, pulled back reflexively and gazed at Nagisa in worry as the smaller boy rubbed his arm carefully.

"D-Did I really hurt you that badly, Nagisa?" Rei was clearly distraught. "I am so sorry.. You know I would never try to hurt you! I really didn't mean to, Nagi-"

"I'm fine, Rei-chan!" Nagisa cut off his apology with a broad smile. "You worry too much. You just startled me, is all." Rei wanted to be convinced. He wanted to sink into Nagisa's beautiful crimson irises and abandon any doubts. But he couldn't help but notice how Nagisa's smile seemed more than a little forced. Now that he looked closer, he noticed dark bags under his eyes covered up by some kind of concealer. It made sense that Nagisa had access to makeup, because he had three sisters, but why did he have to cover up the bags under his eyes? Why did he have them in the first place? Was that the only thing he was hiding? Rei must have been concentrating pretty hard, because Nagisa looked utterly puzzled.

"Come on, Rei-chan! Time for lunch!" Nagisa stood up, taking Rei by the hand and leading him out of the classroom. Rei trailed behind, not stressing over the fact that they were holding hands like he usually would. He had a more important matter on hand.

  
  


Rei was exhausted. He had spent all day in every class watching Nagisa closely, checking for any sign that something was wrong with his friend. He watched the cautious way Nagisa moved, careful not to bump into anything, as opposed to the energetic scramble he usually used to get to and from places. He observed the way Nagisa would subconsciously rub his arms or his cheek, shuddering slightly at the touch. His over enthusiastic responses to Rei's countless "are you alright?"s were enough to fool most people, but Rei knew him well enough to think otherwise. Rei wished more than anything that there were some kind of mathematical equation to make sense of it all, but it was far from being that easy.

"Do you have anything interesting going on at home, Nagisa?" Rei prompted nervously as they paced slowly toward the locker rooms. Small talk had never really been his thing, but he was willing to try even if it only succeeded in cheering up his friend a little bit.

"Not much..." Nagisa appeared to ponder this question. "My older cousin is visiting for a while, so that has been fun." His clear, perky voice faltered. He looked down and coughed quietly. "Sorry, I, um, must have a sore throat." _Sore throat?_ Rei highly doubted it.

"What's your cousin like? I would sure like to meet him sometime." Rei questioned further, hoping not to upset the small blond boy.

"I'm not sure that's necessary, Rei." Nagisa stated quietly. Rei looked at him in surprise, and Nagisa, noting this, continued on, reverting back to his usual light tone. "Oh he is quite nice and all. I mean, I just meant.. Well, his name is Takao. Maybe you'll see him sometime." Rei felt sick to his stomach. He had to protect Nagisa from whatever was bothering him, whether it was this mysterious cousin or something completely unrelated. He had a feeling it was the former.

"Hey, Nagisa? Why don't you stay over at my house tonight? You haven't been over in a while and you could definitely use some help with your schoolwork." Rei had to keep an eye on him, no matter what. Nagisa's face lit up with what was the most genuine smile Rei had seen all day.

"I would love to! You're the best, Rei-chan!"


	3. Chapter 3

“What's the deal, Nagisa?” Makoto questioned lightheartedly, standing at the door of the bathroom stall shoulder to shoulder with a distracted raven haired boy. “You usually have no problem changing clothes with us here.”

“No problem,” Rei muttered, sidling up beside the two older boys begrudgingly, “That is quite the understatement, he seems to enjoy it far more than he should.” Makoto smiled serenely at the slightly shorter boy, sensing the hint of concern in his voice. Haru's sapphire irises remained fixed on the clear water outside.

“If I changed in front of you,” a muffled voice replied from the stall. “You wouldn't be surprised!”

“Surprised..? By what?” Makoto humored his younger friend, slightly curious as to what the hyperactive first year had up his sleeve.

“By my latest fashion choices, of course!” Nagisa threw open the thin door, striking a pose before the rest of the swim team. “Ta-da!” In addition to his usual swim trunks, he sported a sky blue tie-dyed t-shirt made of a slick, spandex-like fabric.

“That's... very nice, Nagisa.” Makoto commented politely, offering the younger boy a soft smile.

“Why would you wear a shirt in the pool? That doesn't make sense.” Haru said, finally averting his gaze from the water.

“It's a swim shirt!” Nagisa pouted. “I thought you guys would like it.” Makoto draped a protective arm over Haru's shoulders before he could continue the argument, steering him out towards the pool area. Haru glanced up into his taller friend's kind emerald eyes, letting a hint of a smile play at his lips before he disentangled himself and dove into the clear liquid. Makoto followed suit.

Rei, on the other hand, had ignored the entire conversation, focusing only on the several small purple bruises that lined Nagisa's slender arms. He grasped the smaller boy's elbow lightly.

“N-Nagisa-kun, your arms.” Nagisa turned to face him questioningly. “What are those bruises from?” _Or who, I should say,_ he added bitterly to himself.

“Oh, you know me! I'm as clumsy as they get! Always knocking into things. It's a wonder I haven't broken a limb yet, right?” Nagisa's warm grin and high, lilting laugh nearly melted Rei's fear away. But his thoughts tormented him. _What is he hiding under that shirt? ...Do I want to know?_ But Rei knew that was not a valid question. Whether he wanted to know or not didn't matter in this situation. He had to find out, one way or another.

Nagisa shook his trembling hand off of his elbow, exiting the locker room at a sprint. Rei watched the door swing shut behind him, still trapped in a stupor. A light splash could be heard from outdoors, and Rei finally came to his senses, letting his still raised arm fall to his side.

“N-Nagisa-kun.” His voice came out as a raspy whisper, his head hanging low. “Let me save you.”

_Because I can't watch you be hurt like this._

_Because I love you._


	4. chapter 4

“Nagisa, wake up! It's our stop.” Rei nudged the dozing blonde boy who sat beside him on the less than comfortable bus seat, a bit reluctant to bother him. He had been enjoying gazing at his small companion's calm, peaceful face as he leaned against Rei's structured shoulder. Wide scarlet eyes now met his, instantly alert before softening with the recognition of his best friend.

“Rei-chan? This is my stop. Aren't we going to your house?” Nagisa seemed genuinely confused as Rei gingerly helped him out of his seat.

“We must go by your house to pick up your overnight supplies, of course.”

“Oh, Rei, there is nothing I need there. I can just borrow a pillow from you! What else would I need?” The note of panic in Nagisa's tone was apparent.

“Sleepwear, toothbrush, hair comb, that plush penguin you insist that you can't sleep without...” Rei listed in a monotone, struggling to ignore Nagisa's pleading expression. Even Nagisa the master manipulator couldn't hide the terror in his eyes. It broke Rei's heart to hurt him like this, but he had to understand what was happening, and he couldn't help his friend by standing off to the side and watching this horrible mess play out. He had to get involved, and quick. “It's only logical, Nagisa. We are going to your house. Now.”

Nagisa's pestering fell flat at Rei's decisive proclamation. His gaze fell as they walked along the road for a second, until he perked up again. His usual cheerful trot was present. Rei saw through it easily. As they drew closer, Nagisa's small hand found Rei's, gripping it tightly as if it were a life preserver in shark infested waters. The front door loomed in front of them. Nagisa attempted a bright grin directed at his taller friend, but Rei wasn't fooled for an instant as he reached up to ring the doorbell.

The door swung open instantly, a small woman with radiant golden hair standing in the doorframe before them. “Nagisa, dear! Hello there, Rei. How was school? And swim?” She pulled her son into a suffocating embrace.

“They were both great, Mom, as always.” Nagisa relaxed into his mother's arms, a real smile spreading across his face for once that day. Rei finally relaxed, beginning to feel like this might all work itself out. “You're home two days early! I'm so glad you're back! I missed you.”

“I missed you too, dear. Did you and Takao have fun with the house to yourselves for a while?”

“...Yeah. We had a great time.” Rei felt his good mood shatter with one look at Nagisa's face. Surprisingly, his mother did not seem to notice his drop in enthusiasm. Nagisa pulled back from their hug, grabbing Rei's hand and starting towards the stairs. “I'm sleeping over at Rei's tonight, Mom, is that okay?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

Nagisa giggled childishly, eyes sparkling as he turned around and caught Rei's eyes. Rei was grinning himself. Nagisa's lightened mood was infectious. He bounded up the stairs and launched them through a clean white door frame at the end of the hall. Rei sat on his small bed and watched as the young blonde sifted through his drawers, lifting out pajamas and socks and everything else he could possibly need before tossing them into a bag. “Okay, Rei-chan!” He piped, picking up the overflowing bag, “I'm read-”

“Going somewhere?” An icy, sadistic voice questioned from across the room. Nagisa jumped, the color rushing from his excited face before he turned around to meet its owner. Rei stood up instinctively, startled to see a tall figure filling the doorway. He looked so out of place in the bright, cheery room, with his thick black bangs hanging over an unfriendly sneer. His dark eyes were crimson, like Nagisa's, but they lacked the bright, jovial quality that gave Rei butterflies in his stomach. His ominous irises made Rei's heart skip for another reason. Fear.

“H-hello, Takao...” Nagisa's gaze met the floor, the room flooding in thick silence. It wasn't like Nagisa to be at a loss for words. Rei felt something break inside of him as he met his eyes, so terrified and drained of their usual buoyancy. He shook with rage at what this older boy was doing to his friend. Scaring him, intimidating him... and what more? An image of the dark bruises lining Nagisa's slender arms clouded his vision. His fists clenched at his side, his cheeks reddening.

_How alike the feelings of anger and love are. I feel the same physical reactions to both: heart pounding, breath heavier, blood pulsing through my veins so intensely it's notable. You can research it in a lab as many times as you want. The measurable results will always be the same: increased heart palpitations, higher respiratory rate, all the things you learn for a day in health class and forget as soon as class ends. That is, if you aren't a study freak like me. But there is no way to scientifically describe the difference between the two emotions. There is no way to examine the tight knot of anticipation that explodes into a million butterflies as soon as you see the face of your one and only, no testable hypothesis to explain the sharp, searing knife of fury that digs deep into your gut as soon as you catch a glimpse of the one you loath._

_Yes, how similar the two are, in one sense._ Rei mused to himself. _And yet not at all._

Fear alone held Rei in his spot for the rest of the awkward exchange of greetings. Takao lifted his eyebrows in an unimpressed way as Rei refused his furious impulses, as if to question his ability to protect his helpless friend. The older teen slouched out of the room then, finally relieving them of the palpable tensity that had hung in the air like a thick, deadly virus. But his presence followed Rei for the rest of the night.


	5. chapter 5

“-But what _I_ am most excited for is the relay. Won't it be great? That is, if Haru-chan will agree to do it. Individual strokes are fine, but it is so much more fun to swim as a team!" Nagisa rattled off excitedly, tugging Rei along as he pranced along the pavement. His usual cheery demeanor was restored in full, probably brought along by the early return of his mother from her business ventures. "Don't you agree, Rei-chan?"

“I, er, yes.. I suppose I do.” He couldn't deny Nagisa's open, radiant, _beautiful_ face, no matter if the reply was true or not. He knew what Nagisa wanted to hear, so that was what he wanted to say. He was extremely relieved that Nagisa's mother was back to look after his small friend and shield him from further bullying. She couldn't be home at all times, so Rei knew that if Takao didn't leave soon a confrontation would be inevitable. He hoped it wouldn't come to that, though, and was glad for the temporary delay that the small woman provided.

The setting sun spilled over the clouds above, bathing the world around them in a soft golden hue. Hands still clasped together, they fell into a rare but comfortable silence as Nagisa's pace slowed to take in the wondrous scene. Rei finally felt like things were coming back together. _Is it normal for friends to hold hands like this? Most friends do this, right?_ He glanced longingly at Nagisa's face: smooth, pale skin. Soft-looking, perfectly curved lips. His adorable button nose. Almost maroon irises glimmering in the dimming light. _Of course Nagisa doesn't see me like... that. Like a soul mate. Like a lover. Like the way I see him. To him, we are just friends. No complications involved._ Rei sighed deeply, exhaling into the cooling air. _If only it were that simple._

A slight shiver made its way up Nagisa's delicate frame, interrupting Rei's thought process. “Nagisa, why on earth are you not wearing a coat? It's fall for goodness sakes! You could catch a cold!” He exclaimed exasperatedly, letting his eyes fall on the blonde's thin red t-shirt and shorts. “It's not like you can afford to miss any classes, either.”

“It was warm when we left my house! How could I have known it would get so cold?” Goosebumps raised on his arms.

“Here, take my jacket.” Rei hurriedly pulled his own outerwear off, draping it across his friend's thin shoulders. “It will probably be too big, and I doubt it adheres to today's current fashions, but-”

“Rei-chan.” Nagisa cut him off before he could rattle on further. “Thank you.” Rei froze. Nagisa's pattering footsteps came to a halt. He caught Rei's nervous glance and didn't let go, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Time seemed to stop as they stood on the rough path through the rice fields, together in a world all their own. Rei wanted to submerge himself in the depths of Nagisa's inviting smile. He could lose himself in those wide, innocent eyes; the dark pink irises that hid the beautiful complexities beneath to all but those he cared about the most. Rei could see deep inside them now. He could tell that the two of them shared a bond that could never be broken. And for once, he was certain that Nagisa felt the same way.

“Race you home, Rei-chan!” Nagisa broke the silence suddenly, breaking into a wide grin and taking off at a sprint. Rei watched him for a moment, not noticing his horrible running form or caring in the least. He set off at a slow jog. _He will tire himself out very quickly. When he does, I will be there to carry him home._ He decided. _I will always be there._

  
  


As expected, they burst through the front door of Rei's house several minutes later, Nagisa draped against Rei in a desperate attempt to not collapse out of exhaustion. Although he suspected Nagisa was exaggerating quite a bit about how he might have to amputate a leg, he allowed the smaller boy to clamber into his arms to be carried up the stairs. It was apparent that Nagisa was not joining the track team anytime soon.

“Wow!” Nagisa exhaled loudly, sprawled across Rei's large bed. “You are so strong, Rei-chan! How did you carry me up the stairs?”

He blushed furiously at the compliment. “Well.. you aren't very.. heavy..”

“Give yourself some more credit! You work hard to be fit.” Nagisa giggled lightly. “May I use your bathroom, Rei-chan?

“Of course. Try not to break anything.” Nagisa hopped up and bounded out of the room. _Isn't this the same Nagisa who supposedly couldn't walk just a few minutes ago?_ Rei had guessed that he was lying for a free ride up the stairs, yet had picked him up anyways. He didn't mind at all, though. He would carry his little friend anywhere, any day, just to feel his soft skin against his own. Just to feel his heartbeat and savor his warmth. _Yes,_ Rei thought to himself as he fell back onto the bedspread, _it was definitely worth it._

Rei had just finished changing into his pajamas when Nagisa strode into the room, now wearing a light, airy white t-shirt and soft cotton shorts. He beamed at the taller of the two. “I like your butterfly pajamas.” Rei searched his voice for any hint of sarcasm, but found none.

“Thank you. They were a gift from my grandmother.” He hesitantly replied.

“Aw, Rei-chan! I didn't know that you were close with your grandmother! Tell me about her! Then let's play a board game! Or watch a movie! Or both! At the same time!” Rei paused, a bit winded by Nagisa's energetic response. He really did want to stay up late and have fun with the smaller boy. He wanted to whittle away the hours one by one, to forget about trivial things like getting to sleep early and just live in the moment. But he remembered the dark bags under Nagisa's eyes, and knew what was best for him.

“No, Nagisa-kun. It is a school night, I'm afraid we must go to sleep now.” After a fair amount of pouting and pestering, the two were tucked into bed, side by side. Nagisa was out like a light. Rei could feel his consciousness slipping away... slowly... and the room went dark.

Suddenly, he awoke to hear a sharp, electronic _ding_ sound from beside the bed. He looked at the clock, which read 3:00 am. Nagisa remained out cold. He pushed himself up, identifying the source as Nagisa's travel bag. He looked inside the brimming tote, knowing that Nagisa would do the same to his bag if it were the other way around. A pink phone rested upon the mass of clothing, its screen lit up and reading New Message. Curiosity taking hold, he flipped it open and read the text.

From: Mom

Sorry Nagi an urgent problem came up at work. I will be in Tokyo until further notice -at least 4 nights tho. I will call to explain when I get time. Takao will be home to take care of you so behave. Have fun, love mom.

Rei's stomach dropped. He flipped the phone closed in a daze, letting it fall back into the bag. He had been a fool to ever think that this was avoidable. Someone had to stand up for Nagisa, and he knew who that someone would have to be.

He watched Nagisa as he slept, back to Rei, curled up and clutching the covers tightly. Pale moonlight fell across his body, seeming to highlight his fragility. His face was so serene and untroubled in the thin light. Rei gasped. His shirt had ridden up, revealing a population of bruises speckled across his torso. _So that's what he was hiding._ Deep, painful-looking, midnight blue contusions, interrupting the flow of even, milky white skin. Rei felt a stab of anger in his gut, feeling it sear through him like a raging fever. Takao's sneering face flashed through his mind, taunting him. _I will kill him. I will kill that bastard for what he did to Nagisa._ He gazed at the blonde's sleeping face once more, feeling his temperature cool slightly into a wave of sadness for his friend. _He deserves so much more than this. But I will set it right._ He lay down again, carefully wrapping his long arms around Nagisa's small body. He buried his face in his neck, pressing himself against him, absorbing his warmth. His shaking hand idly stroked Nagisa's trim torso, wishing he could make the bruises disappear with a swipe of his wrist. But he was no magician. He let his hand fall to Nagisa's side, cradling him in a tender, protective grip. Rei slowly dozed off, holding him close. _If only we could stay like this forever._


	6. chapter 6

“ _Hello, Nagisa.” Nagisa reeled in surprise at the sneering voice, seeming to emerge from every angle. Who was that? The voice seemed so familiar, but just out of reach. Hesitantly, he turned around, but saw no one in the vicinity._

_Where was he anyways?_

_He blinked, eyes adjusting in the dim light. He seemed to be in an underground tunnel of some sort. Huge walls rose up around him, curving to meet each other in a terrifyingly elegant embrace. The only light available was filtered through a small patch in the ceiling, near useless against the overwhelming darkness. His knees burned, and he realized that he was kneeling on a floor of sharp rocks. He quickly stood up, examining his bare knees for hints of blood, but was unable to see anything in the pitch black._

_“H-hello.” Nagisa felt slightly ridiculous, talking to this voice without a body, but what other options did he have? A deep, growling laugh echoed throughout the huge cavern._

_“Don't be afraid, my little friend. I won't bite. You should know that very well by now.” Nagisa fully recognized the voice now, bitter and dripping with grim sarcasm._

_“Takao? What.. what are you doing? Where are you? And.. what is this place?” He received only silence for several minutes, all warmth sucked from his body. His bare feet began to sink into the ground slowly, the sharp rocks now replaced with thick quicksand. He attempted to leap out of the mixture, but found himself thoroughly trapped. Finally, Takao's voice rang out again._

_“You are alone. Completely alone.” He felt himself sink further, felt the panic creep its way through his system._

_“But... my friends...” He feebly replied. The room began to rumble, huge boulders detaching themselves from the ceiling above and falling down._

_“Where are your friends now?” The cruel, psychopathic cackle filled the area again, ringing out loud and clear. A titanic boulder dislodged from the space right above Nagisa's head, hurtling toward the small boy trapped below._

_“No.. help-”_

Nagisa's wide eyes burst open in the soft moonlight, fear and disbelief washing over him like a cold sweat. _Only a dream._ His breath came out in deep gulps, thirsting for the feeling of life flowing through his veins once more. As he regained consciousness, he felt a reassuring weight tucked around his torso. A small smile took its place on his tired features as he found himself wrapped in Rei's embrace. He turned around to face Rei, careful not to escape the hug, and placed his head against his strong, secure chest. _As long as you're here,_ he gazed up at his friend's sleeping face in the fading light, _I will never be alone._

  
  


“Hazuki Nagisa.” An uncommon silence settled over the classroom. “Is Hazuki Nagisa present?” The absence of clamor in the room made sense, though, as Nagisa was typically the one making the noise. A few students whispered to each other across the aisles, exchanging homework answers or phone numbers or other frivolous things that didn't concern a certain blue-haired teen at the moment.

“Absent.” Rei was in a trance himself. He stared blankly at the empty desk before him, moments from the past few days flashing through his mind like repeated strikes of lightning. But this was a lot more painful.

_Standing, hidden, behind the doorway, watching his friend arise from a deep slumber. Watching his nimble fingers reach for his phone, flipping it open in the crisp morning light. Watching his face drain of all color, paling as he scanned the text before him; his slight shoulders weakening from their optimistic position, eyes widening before closing in a shudder. Feeling sick at the sight of his fake grin as he finally strode through the doorway. Cowardice stifling his every attempt to connect._

_Nagisa, making up excuses to stay at school later._

_Nagisa, showing up the next day, sunken eyes, bruised lips._

_Nagisa, dodging Rei's worried questions. Lying profusely. Laughing off his situation in that high, tinkling voice that broke Rei's heart._

_Rei, Failing to summon the courage produced that one night. Wallowing in the memory of dark purple bruises riddling innocent skin._

_Rei, hating himself for doing nothing._

“Ryugazaki Rei.” Abruptly, he pulled himself up, pushing back his chair as he stood at his desk. He had no idea what he was doing. But he knew for sure that he wasn't sitting in that room uselessly anymore. Not until everything had returned to order. He strode up to the front of the classroom, followed by the wide eyes of the students around him. His voice was clear, no hint of the hesitance usually present when he spoke in front of the entire class.

“Absent.” He turned, and sprinted out the door.

 _Hadn't Nagisa said that his track skills would come in handy one day?_ He didn't even bother to stop at the train station. He didn't have time to buy tickets, wait for late commuters, and make sickening small talk with strangers as if this were a perfectly normal trip over to a friend's house. He had to perform, no worrying about having the perfect form or pacing himself. No track meet was as important as this; this meant more than shaving a few seconds off of his time.

So he sprinted the entire way, ignoring the protests his body made and pushing on even harder. He collapsed in front of the familiar oak door, chest heaving as he placed his hands on his knees. Finally regaining his breath, he pressed a careful hand to the doorknob, pushing aside his polite instinct to knock, and walked right inside.

The kitchen and dining room area were both empty. Cheerful mid morning light streamed through the large windows, bathing the room in a healthy glow. It was so _peaceful._ Suddenly, a muffled voice echoed from upstairs. Rei abandoned his momentary sense of calm and bolted up the stairwell. He skidded to a stop outside of Nagisa's room and pressed his ear against the door, fighting against his rapid heartbeat to hear what was going on.

"Go ahead, just _try_ and tell somebody. We'll see how that works out for you.” Rei recognized the snarling tone of Takao's voice immediately, tensing with repressed animosity.

"P-please.. Takao... don't...” Nagisa's response came out weakly in between quiet sobs. Rei had heard enough. He shoved his full weight into the door, letting it crash open as he flew into the room. Two heads swiveled toward him instantly.

Takao had Nagisa pressed up against the wall, one strong arm clenched in the loose folds of his shirt, the other just swinging to clock him across the cheek. Rei froze, his vision clouding, seeing nothing but Nagisa's swollen, red-rimmed eyes.

"Rei!” His panicked voice rose a note, “Get out! He'll hurt you!" Rei remained locked in place, almost shocked that his assumptions had actually been right. It occurred to him how utterly unprepared he was for this.

"I told you," Takao's low growl interrupted them, "Not to tell anyone!" His fist made impact with Nagisa's delicate skin.

Rei lost it.

He attacked the older boy with a ferocity he never knew he possessed. He ripped him away from the smaller boy, his fists colliding with Takao's chest repeatedly. He felt a pain in his abdomen, and could definitely tell that Takao had got in a few good swings himself. After getting hit by a particularly painful uppercut, he clocked the older boy across the face and paused, gripping him by the collar of his shirt.

"If you think that you can hurt Nagisa, ever, without serious consequences," he seethed, glaring deep into Takao's bitter pupils, "you better think again." He raised a fist, ready to go all out. He was stopped short, though, by a whimper from the side of the room.

"Rei-chan. Please." Nagisa coughed, slumped against the wall weakly. "Don't stoop to his level. Punching people? That isn't you." Rei let his hand drop. He really was charged with emotion right now. And Nagisa knew him better than anybody. He knew how tormented Rei would be if he injured another living being, even if it was in the heat of the moment. What he didn't know, though, was how much Rei cared about protecting his small friend, and how anything to keep him out of harm's way would have no regret attached. How any pain, physical or mental, would be worth it to have Nagisa safe and sound again.

Rage still coursing through his veins, he leaned forward, whispering ominously into Takao's ear. "In precisely one minute, you will leave this house for good. Don't test me. There will be consequences. There is a train station near the end of the block. You are going to get on a train heading for who the hell knows where and you are going to get out of Nagisa's life. Forever." He reached into his pocket, pressing a few coins into Takao's hand. He shoved him towards the doorway and watched him skulk out, somewhat dazed. His clenched fingers unfurled, hanging loosely at his side. He was breathing hard, running over the events that had just transpired in his mind.

Nagisa slipped to the ground, back still pressed against the wall. Rei immediately rushed over, kneeling so that he was straddling the younger boy's stretched out legs. He could feel the hot blush creeping over his cheeks as his deft hands lifted to Nagisa's face, examining every bruise and wincing softly.

"Nagisa-kun! A-are you alright? Oh, dear, I can already see the black eye forming. That should be there for a good two weeks... Oh, if I only I had come a little bit earlier. If I could have run a bit faster. You would be in less pain and I hate seeing you like- W-why are you smiling? Nagi-"

Nagisa seized the tie hanging immaculately around Rei's neck, pulling him down and lifting his own chin up to meet him without a word. Soft lips connected. Rei eased into the kiss, surprised at first but more than willing to participate. He leaned down farther, caressing the tender lines of Nagisa's face cautiously. When they broke apart, Nagisa was gazing straight into Rei's eyes with a pure entrancement that Rei had never seen before. His own eyes were probably a mirror of the same look.

"You saved me." Nagisa softly stated, irises glinting in the mid-day sun. His face broke into a wide grin, genuine and true. "Thank you, Rei-chan."

And for once in his life, Rei felt like the moment could not be improved. No matter how many bruises he acquired, how much schoolwork he missed out on on a sudden impulse, he was sure that he had done the right thing. He leaned against the wall, cradling Nagisa's small body against his own.

_I'm not perfect. I never will be. But I am good enough for the one person that matters._

_Yes._ He was more sure of himself than he had ever been before. _This is how it was meant to be._


	7. chapter 7

"Thank you, Rei-chan!" Rei couldn't help but grin back as Nagisa enthusiastically sipped at his hot chocolate. Granted, it probably contained more sugar than he could handle, but Rei would have to face the consequences of that later. For now, he could enjoy his small friend's adoring glances across the table and the dot of whipped cream that had gotten caught on the tip of his nose. Chuckling slightly, he wiped it off gingerly with the edge of his coat-sleeve. Catching sight of his watch for a moment, he scolded himself for losing track of time once again.

"Nagisa-kun, I am afraid we must leave immediately if we have any hope of getting home before dark." He glanced outside at the already dimming sky speckled with clean white snowflakes and lamented the optimism in his statement. There was no way they would get home at a reasonable hour. Nagisa sighed dreamily as he tossed his paper cup into the can by the door.

"I love the snow, Rei-chan." He clasped his slender fingers around Rei's larger hand.

"I know you do..." Rei felt the heat rise to his cheeks as he pushed the doors of the coffee shop open. He wasn't quite sure where this conversation was going, but he was sure that Nagisa had some kind of ulterior motive.

"Can we... walk home today?" Rei stopped cold. The proposition hit him harder than the icy breeze that enveloped them as soon as they stepped outside.

"Absolutely not! It will be fully dark outside in approximately thirty minutes and it's the middle of winter! We could get caught in a snowstorm!"

Nagisa appeared to ponder this thought seriously, lifting up a palm and letting a few snowflakes lazily drift into his reach. He gazed into the sky once more. "It doesn't look like a snowstorm to me."

Rei couldn't help but agree. The soft white crystals that lay on Nagisa's outstretched fingers were hardly threatening.

"But... we have homework to do..."

Nagisa laughed out loud in response. "Rei-chan, I think you can afford to miss a few assignments. Plus, when else do you get an opportunity like this? It's a winter wonderland!" He twirled around once and pulled them to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk, using both of his small hands to clutch Rei's larger one. The moment they made eye contact, Rei knew he had lost the argument.

"Alriiiight.." He sighed. Nagisa cheered, dragging his tall friend across the pavement immediately. Rei struggled to keep up, his long legs tripping over uneven cement and slippery ice. Breathless, their footsteps halted at the sight of the playground. Usually so worn-down and crawling with children, it was now coated in a thick blanket of snow, completely undisturbed and serene under the gentle moonlight. They cautiously made their way towards the play structure- a towering, regal palace in its soft ivory coating- afraid to even emit a whisper of sound that could possibly return the area back to its usual, less than magical state. Following the winding pathways inside, they eventually made their way to the very top level, gazing out over the peaceful sea of snow without a word. Finally, Nagisa broke the silence.

“Rei-chan?” The soft whisper, so uncharacteristic of Nagisa, nearly went unheard. Rei turned towards him, wordlessly acknowledging his small partner. “The roof is closer to the sky.” Rei let out a low breath and watched it curl lazily through the dark night air, for once not even considering the dangers of climbing on roofs and being spontaneous and falling head over heels for someone you just met this year. For once, he just wrapped his strong arms around Nagisa's slim frame, delicately placing him on the edge of the roof above them and clambered up onto the railing himself, seizing the edge of the roof and lifting himself into place next to his best friend.

Rei examined the profile of the smaller boy carefully, the upward tilt of his chin, his lovable button nose, the wide eyes that searched the endless reaches of the sky above. He understood what his friend was feeling exactly; the freeing tranquility of losing himself in the subtly glimmering stars above, the intimate notion that nothing but miles of clear midnight air stood between him and the pale, gleaming moon above.

Rei lay back in the cushion of snow behind him, catching his friend's eye as he bit his lip in that innocently seductive way that made Rei forget about anything that had seemed important a moment ago. Nagisa pounced on him, suspending himself above the blue haired boy and gazing adoringly into his kind, warm eyes. Straddling his lean, muscular waist, he lowered himself down and pressed his lips against Rei's softly. Rei gripped his slim waist tightly with one firm hand, allowing the other to stroke Nagisa's warm neck and make its way under his thin white shirt. Nagisa shivered in pleasure and pressed his body against Rei's, to which Rei responded by pulling him closer, sealing in his warmth and leaving no space between the two. Dazzling ruby eyes widened at Rei's boldness and closed again in contentment after he leaned in further and nipped at Rei's lip playfully, letting out a soft chuckle and a sharp intake of breath and attacking him even more ferociously. Rei moaned softly, feeling every ridge of his body interlocking perfectly with Nagisa's petite form. He grasped the smaller boy's shoulders with his steady hands, and flipped them over suddenly so that Rei was on top.

Finally, the two broke apart, panting heavily. Rei looked upon the cheery blonde beneath him fondly, stunned by his overwhelming beauty in the pale illumination of the constellations. He peered carefully through his now crooked lenses at the rosy, flushed cheeks that had once been imprisoned by the torment of abuse and countless sleepless nights. He examined the light indigo outline of the black eye that had haunted his vision for the past week and a half, finally beginning to return to its natural, healthy tone. Taking Nagisa's slender wrist in his hands, tears sprang into his violet eyes at the waning deep cobalt bruises that had riddled his every thought ever since the day he first set eyes on them.

“...Rei-chan...?” He found himself submerged in Nagisa's entrancing crimson irises once more. “What's wrong?” The tears slowly made their way down his usually stoic face.

“I was just... I was afraid that I might lose you forever.” Nagisa's bright eyes softened instantly, and he grasped Rei's hands delicately within his own.

“No, Rei. That didn't happen. And it never will. As long as I have you.” As the sprightly cadence of his young companion's voice reached his ears, a genuine smile spread across the taller boy's face. “We're alright, Rei-chan.”

Leaving one hand joined, they lay on their backs in the crisp white snow. Silent breaths unfurled and collided gracefully in the cold air, twirling and dipping like dancers in the brisk night sky. Rei was overwhelmed by the beauty of the moment, the juxtaposition of warmth and cold, light and dark, fear and bliss. _Kind of like life, in a way._ Constellations forgotten, he found himself gazing instead at the glimmering stars in Nagisa's eyes.

“I-I... Nagisa-kun, I love you.” A beat passed as the words that had been repeating in his analytical mind ever since he first laid eyes on him were finally verbalized- a flawless crescendo in the symphony that held them together.

“I love you too, Rei-chan.”


End file.
